I'm a farm kid.
There's no denying it.
When I'm here, the everyday doubt and self loathing is gone. It never enters my mind. I'm awake with the sun. I'm working all day. Really working. My hands are dirty and calloused and cut up and sore. But my mind is clear. My mind is calm. My mind is NEVER calm.
It's night and day for me.
I went back to the city for a date on Wednesday and despite the fact that I got to spend time with a pretty girl and sleep in my own bed - I couldn't wait to get back here. Back to the calm quiet and the promise of more work.
And it's not work in the sense that it feels like a burden. It's investing in the future of this place.
I cut down trees. I cut down an entire pasture of weeds that had grown above my head. I pruned and trimmed and opened up the sky to a view that is priceless - though you'd easily pay millions for it.
I'm so content.
After months of trying to remember who I am and what I'm supposed to do or be - I've found life here. I've found myself here.
Now I just have to find a way to stay.
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