Life is about loving

One of the biggest hurdles I've faced in getting to the point in my life that I'm at now, is really loving myself.
I've always been a very confident person. I'm really smart. Really funny. I make friends easily and get along great with everyone. I'm easy going and easy to please and charming as fuck. But loving myself , really loving myself - not as easy as saying I'm smart and charming.
I had a huge life event happen to me 3 and a half years ago that totally flipped my perspective on love. Love of family. Love of friendships. But most importantly, love of myself.
I spent the better part of my twenties involved in some really unhealthy relationships. Relationships with people who, despite not being bad people - were just bad for me. People who robbed me of my identity. Who carelessly took me for granted and thrived on making me feel weak and sad and small. But they're not to blame for those things happening. I am. Because I never used to love myself enough to believe I deserved better from my friends.
And then one day I had a wake up call. Shit hit the fan. And if you really want to find out who your REAL friends are - let shit hit the fan and become vulnerable and accountable to all the shitty things you've ever said or done. Then see who is standing once the dust settles. Those people are your real friends.
So I learned to love myself. To value my life. To find inside me not only the strength to stand up for myself against shitty behavior, but the respect and understanding to know that I deserved - deserve - so much better.
I feel so fucking good today.
My friends are so amazing. They are so unbelievably kind and caring and encouraging and GENUINE.
Riding myself of fake dishonest creatures who live and breed in the filth of pathetic self importance was - and still is - the best thing I ever did.
That's my transformation today - really realizing and believing that truth.
Being healthy mind body and soul, really starts with the mind.

It's been a rough week.
Rough emotionally. But physically - I'm having the best week I've ever had since starting this whole get healthier schtick.
Because of said rough emotional week-ness, I decided to take a little wander tonight. Which turned into a 6k wander around the neighborhood.
That map conveniently puts places makers down where I stopped walking. Note that at least 3 of those spots were where I had to fart. Because I'm fucking classy. Or gassy. Depending on how you look at it.
I'm super pumped to see all that green on my fitbit tracker. It's comforting. And nice of them to send me little woohoos for a job well done. I enjoy that.
A big part of this, and why I'm doing this, is to concur demons and turn to better options in my life than medicating my depression or ignoring my problems and willfully hoping they just go away.
One of the most inspiring things that I've discovered is the amount of clarity and persoective I gain while walking and moving and getting out of the lazy patterns I've become accustomed to. It's....something I never really believed would happen.
I killed 4 sets in interval circuit training today too. So my body is kind of like ok fuck calm down right now. Which means that I'm going to take a bath, watch Grey's and wake up tomorrow just a little bit better than today.

Transformation Tuesday starts today

Because you know - it's Tuesday.

I'm down 18.2 lbs in 4 weeks.
I blame this on clean eating and working out and really just pulling my head out of my (slightly shrinking) ass.

I also started circuit training yesterday and let me tell you - my triceps are pissed that I discovered it. But it's been amazeballs thus far.

Here's my post work out lunch - spicy egg white omlete with avocado and basil.

Super easy;
3 large egg whites
1/2 avocado
3 big leafs of basil
1 tablespoon of siracha

I'm hoping I don't need to give anyone directions on how to make an omlete....because if I do - you should probably question your life choices so far. And then learn to cook an omlete. Then come back.

Happy transformation Tuesday folks! It's a beautiful day. Go get sweaty.

buying local vs buying cheap

With summer approaching, it's time for farmers markets to start opening their stands up with fresh local produce and meats. There are a lot of factors that go into buying produce locally vs buying from big stores like superstore or walmart.
For your money, obviously buying from the bigger stores are going to get you more bang for your buck. But here in lies a few problems. For one, how many of you honestly know where that produce comes from? what pesticides they use to help them grow faster or what kind of waxes and substances they are sprayed with in order to keep them 'fresh' while they travel from - where ever - to your grocery store.
You can always go for the organic option, but do you know what the laws are when it comes to being able to call something "organic"?
A lot of "organic" food isn't actually pesticide, GMO, or additive free. In fact, there's no rule against naming your company so and so organic as a marketing ploy. Meaning the box can say organic, but what you're eating isn't actually organic.
As with everything, the best course of action if you're going to shop at the big stores, is to be educated. Find out where your produce comes from. Find out the laws and regulations for calling something organic in that state/province.
The biggest complication we're going to face this year in Alberta, is the fact that most of our produce comes from California. Where they are experiencing recording breaking droughts this year. No rain means a smaller amount of produce that can be imported into Canada. Which means that the cost of the produce that can make it in, is going to skyrocket.
This is where local farmers markets come into play. Most of the retailers in Edmonton at these farmers markets are local, within 100kms, and sell on the weekends what they harvested during the week. Not only that, but you have the chance to talk to the people who literally picked that produce from the ground. You can ask them questions like what they use for fertilizer, how the harvest, when they harvest etc etc.
Sure, you're going to pay a slightly higher premium at a farmers market. But you're supporting local businesses. You're stimulating the local economy. And realistically, with the ever rising cost of imported produce, the cost difference isn't going to be that dramatic.
I hit up the south common farmers market today and got 1lb of asparagus, 1lb of beets, 1lb of carrots, a basil plant and a jar of pickles for 22 bucks. I helped local farmers and I can promise you that these pickles are legit the best pickles I have ever had - not to mention the taste of fresh locally grown carrots and beets are kind of the best thing ever.
Support local when you can! It's worth the extra 25 cents!

Avocado Alfredo and spaghetti squash

What you need

2 small ripe avocados

2 cloves of garlic

5 basil leaves

The juice of half a lemon

2 table spoons of olive oil

1 medium spaghetti squash

A pinch of salt and pepper to taste

preheat yo oven yo! 400 degrees.

cut the spaghetti squash into rings and remove the seeds. Brush with olive oil and season with salt and pepper.

Bake in the oven for 40 minutes, turning over once after 20 minutes.

Remove from the oven and set aside. 

Cut of the garlic and basil into smallish pieces and place in a blender or food processor with olive oil and lemon juice. Blend on liquefy for a few seconds or until smooth.

Peel and cut up the avocados and blend with the garlic/basil/olive oil/lemon juice mixture until smooth. You may need to scrape down the sides of the blender/processor to make sure there are no chunks of avocado.

peel the squash and using a fork, separate the strands into spaghetti like pieces. Cutting it into the rings really helps keep the feel of a real noodle and it cooks it perfectly. 

pour about 1/2 cup of the sauce over each serving of the squash. 

This recipe makes about four servings.

Feel free to adjust the garlic/basil to your own taste. You can also add water if it's too thick for your liking.

Because avocados oxidize quite easily, it's best to eat this day of. However, you can store it in a Tupperware container in the fridge. Just put plastic wrap over the top of the sauce before sealing the Tupperware to help prevent it from going dark.

I served mine with chicken and asparagus.

It was seriously so delicious I couldn't even process. Highly recommend you trying it out!

Pictures below show the process :)

ENJOY!

 

Chia seed vanilla pudding

What you need:

2 cups unsweetened almond milk
1/2 chia seeds (best value is to buy at bulk barn)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 tablespoons honey

In a medium bowl milk together all ingredients for 2-3 minutes or until mixture starts to thicken.
Cover and refrigerate for at least 2 hours, but overnight is best.
Serve with fresh fruit or a drizzle of honey.
This 'pudding' is perfect for a good start breakfast. It's packed with protein, fiber, omega 3's and antioxidants. It also helps regulate your blood sugar and damn if it isn't a tasty little bastard.
Enjoy!

Honey cinnamon crispy chick peas

First off, I can't take credit for this recipe. I found it online and decided to try it. But I'm posting it here because....well because I can.

What you need;
An oven
Baking sheet
Parchment paper or a silicone mat (not to be confused with a silicone Matt, I really don't think he'd appreciate being baked in an oven. Silicone or not)
1 can of organic chick peas
1/2 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon honey
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon nutmeg
1/8 salt

What you do;

Pre heat yo oven yo! 375
Drain and rinse the chickpeas,  then lay flat on some paper towel to dry
Throw down those chickpeas with mucho gusto in a single layer on the parchment/mat lined baking tray  because they about to get BAKED.

Bake for 45 minutes. Test one of the peas and if they're still soft shove those softies back in the oven for another 5-10 minutes.
When they're crispy to your liking and still hot,  toss them in the oil, honey,  cinnamon, nutmeg and salt.
Place them back in the oven for 10 minutes to get them nice and caramelized. Or you can eat them just like that if you're some kind of caramelized goodness hater. In which case - I feel bad for you.
Let them cool before shoving them in your pie hole. TRUST ME. I learned the hard way.
Store in an airtight container.
This makes 4 servings with each serving containing 146 calories, 2.6g fat and 4.6g sugar.

ENJOY!

Treadmill pro tip

I get it. I hear you. I FEEL YOUR PAIN. Getting on the treadmill fucking sucks. Who wants to walk to literally NO WHERE. It's the exact opposite of fun.
But hey, guess what? It gets your heart rate up.
And when your heart rate is up? You burn more calories.
I'm no expert on working out. I've only been doing it for 14 days. Don't expect me to give you good advice on lifting and squatting and all that shit. I'm not there - YET!
But I do know that I get an hour of cardio (ie treadmill) in every day and I do know how much it can intimidate. And seriously, who hasn't stood there counting every step only to look up and get punched in the genitals with the reality that it's only been 45 SECONDS?!
So here's my pro tip.
READ!
Grab a super trashy magazine. Or a good book you've been meaning to finish. Hell grab a dictionary or print off a hundred pages of Grey's Anatomy fanfiction and just GO HARD.
You get so distracted by the 4 page article about the duggars insane lifestyle choices or how offensively beautiful Sandra Bullock is that before you know it you look down and holy fuck you just did 4kms and now it's time to POWER SQUAT!

(note. I have no idea what the fuck a power squat is. I probably just made it up)

This pro tip has been brought to you by people magazine and awkward calf stretches.

And YES. I did manage to take a photo while jogging a solid 4.6

You don't get to judge me. There's no such thing as distracted treadmilling.

....is there? 

Banana dark chocolate cookies - ONLY 50 CALORIES EACH!

This one is so easy and SO good that it should almost be ILLEGAL.

you only need three things (I need four. keep reading to discover why!)
plus a baking sheet.
and an oven
probably in a house too. but hey, if you have an oven out in the middle of the woods and want to make these cookies, who am I to kill your dreams?

2 ripe bananas - I always have bananas in my freezer. I buy them...I don't eat them....I grew up in DO NOT WASTE environment. So I freeze those fuckers. These come in SUPER handy when I'm jonsing for something om nom nommy and don't want to *cheat.

1 cup instant oats.

1/4 cup of dark chocolate. I used 85% dark dark dark chocolate. Because I like it AND it's way less processes than any other chocolate. Dark or otherwise. Except the 95% shit. I'm not brave enough to try that though.

*ALTERNATIVE OPTION* 1 handful of dried cranberries. This ups the calorie content just a smidge. I'll post both nutriation values below so you can see the difference.
I LOVE dark chocolate and cranberry together. At first I was kind of eh on the fence about including them in a banana/oatmeal cooking - thinking two fruits would suck together. but let me tell ya, two fruits are better than one!
(I'm sure there's some offside gay joke I could make here, which would be OK you know. Cause I'm gay. Right?)
feel free to add nuts or seeds or whatever the fuck you want. I'm not your mum. I don't make the rules round here.


Pre heat yo oven yo! 350

Mash up the bananas until they are total mush. NO LUMPS! NO WIRE HANGERS!
add in the cup of oatmeal, the chocolate, the kitchen sink and a copy of Martha Stewart living.
Stir to combine
drop spoonfulls of the cookies onto a baking sheet. You can also consider greasing the sheet with a smidge of coconut oil, if your cookie sheet is major ghetto and things stick to it.
put in the oven and bake for 10-12 minutes, depending on how big of a spoonful you use.
Pro tip - don't use a fucking shovel to make one giant cookie. IT WILL NOT WORK. and then you'll blame me and then I'll have to kick you in the shins. And I don't want to kick you in the shins. because I like you. So just use a regular spoon, ok?

take them off the cookie sheet and let them cool on a plate or a cooling rack (if you're fancy as fuck and have a cooling rack)

they taste similar to banana bread but with a slightly more fluffy texture.
Because of the banana - these cookies can get a little darker the next day - so don't be surprised.
if you are surprised - see above regarding shin kicking.

I WARNED YOU!

*The term cheat is often used in reference to a day or meal or snack that you have that goes outside your regular 'diet'. Since clean eating isn't a diet for me, but a lifestyle change, I hate using this term. But because it's so easily recognized as a faulter I will continue to use it in the sense that cheating for me would be consuming sugar, or processed foods willingly in excess in order to satisfy some convaluted 'craving'. Funny part about clean eating - once you're past the initial HOLY FUCK I WANT A FUCKING PEPSI moments in the first week, you no longer crave those high sugar things. And having 1 or 2 of these cookies is just as satisfying as it would have been to actually have that pepsi.