One of the biggest hurdles I've faced in getting to the point in my life that I'm at now, is really loving myself.
I've always been a very confident person. I'm really smart. Really funny. I make friends easily and get along great with everyone. I'm easy going and easy to please and charming as fuck. But loving myself , really loving myself - not as easy as saying I'm smart and charming.
I had a huge life event happen to me 3 and a half years ago that totally flipped my perspective on love. Love of family. Love of friendships. But most importantly, love of myself.
I spent the better part of my twenties involved in some really unhealthy relationships. Relationships with people who, despite not being bad people - were just bad for me. People who robbed me of my identity. Who carelessly took me for granted and thrived on making me feel weak and sad and small. But they're not to blame for those things happening. I am. Because I never used to love myself enough to believe I deserved better from my friends.
And then one day I had a wake up call. Shit hit the fan. And if you really want to find out who your REAL friends are - let shit hit the fan and become vulnerable and accountable to all the shitty things you've ever said or done. Then see who is standing once the dust settles. Those people are your real friends.
So I learned to love myself. To value my life. To find inside me not only the strength to stand up for myself against shitty behavior, but the respect and understanding to know that I deserved - deserve - so much better.
I feel so fucking good today.
My friends are so amazing. They are so unbelievably kind and caring and encouraging and GENUINE.
Riding myself of fake dishonest creatures who live and breed in the filth of pathetic self importance was - and still is - the best thing I ever did.
That's my transformation today - really realizing and believing that truth.
Being healthy mind body and soul, really starts with the mind.
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